Depressed Medication

Question:

Hi.. me again    Well, it happened. My primary care doctor decided that SINCE I went to the pain clinic that he would only give me two weeks worth of medication. I had hoped and prayed that the pain clinic would decide a treatment plan before I ran out. I tried really hard to limit my usage but my life is just too demanding physically.    I’ve been suffering withdrawls since Friday. I finally got irritated enough to call my primary care doctors office on Saturday. Of course, my regular doctor was not on call. His associate was. Not only was the guy rude but he totally refused to rx ANY narcotics period. I said, look, I understand that and am NOT expecting you to rx any narcotics. I want you to HELP me get THROUGH this withdrawl. Needless to say, he flat refused. I tried to be persistent. I said what am I supposed to do? He had absolutely no answers for me.     Yesterday, I went into such a deep depression that I believe if I had a gun I would have done it. The depression, I realise is part of withdrawl but it was horrific. The utter despair that you feel. I feel even now that hope is not in my future.    Many of the older posters here have been with me since my first post. Look at what I have gone through!! I just am not sure that I can continue to handle it anymore.    It’s like a wheel that my rats run on. I hurt, I get meds, the meds are not strong enough to actually help the pain, so I still hurt. Then I don’t have meds and withdrawl. Then I get meds and start the cycle all over again. I just cannot take it. On or off medication my life seems pretty bleak right now.    Sure, Sure not feeling human is part of withdrawl… but, I realised something. I have not felt human for a very VERY long time.    I stayed away from the group when not in pain because of the flames. I tend to say really dumb things sometimes or I state something that someone takes the wrong way and end up getting flamed.    I don’t know what to do and I do not think I can handle this. Tammy

Response:

>Hi.. me again

                                <snippage> – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->   Many of the older posters here have been with me since my first post. >Look at what I have gone through!! I just am not sure that I can continue to >handle it anymore. >   It’s like a wheel that my rats run on. I hurt, I get meds, the meds are >not strong enough to actually help the pain, so I still hurt. Then I don’t >have meds and withdrawl. Then I get meds and start the cycle all over again. >I just cannot take it. On or off medication my life seems pretty bleak right >now. >   Sure, Sure not feeling human is part of withdrawl… but, I realised >something. I have not felt human for a very VERY long time. >   I stayed away from the group when not in pain because of the flames. I >tend to say really dumb things sometimes or I state something that someone >takes the wrong way and end up getting flamed. >   I don’t know what to do and I do not think I can handle this. >Tammy

    Tammy, if everyone stayed away for those reasons…there wouldn’t BE a pain group!  :-)     I understand what you’re going through Tammy..honestly I do. I’m so sorry that this doctor turned out to be another of ‘them"  Please don’t let those "bad apples" you’ve seen cause you to stop seeking what you need.   As you know, there are several sies which offer a referral. Please don’t let THEM win!  If you need help finding the sites again, please write me, and I’ll look for them and send them to you again. You may be feeling horrible now, but look at it as just another low spot, and another doctor you had to get past to find the one who WILL take good care of you…there IS help. To start out, there is emergency help as well as doctor referral info on the site David Lambourne brought to us..              http://www.painfoundation.org/ Please look around here, check the link for "PainAid" perhaps you’ll find what you need. There are also experts there for you to ask all sorts of questions. Take good care please,  codeee

Response:

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >     Tammy, if everyone stayed away for those reasons…there wouldn’t > BE a pain group!  :-) >     I understand what you’re going through Tammy..honestly I do. I’m > so sorry that this doctor turned out to be another of ‘them"  Please > don’t let those "bad apples" you’ve seen cause you to stop seeking > what you need. >   As you know, there are several sies which offer a referral. Please > don’t let THEM win!  If you need help finding the sites again, please > write me, and I’ll look for them and send them to you again. > You may be feeling horrible now, but look at it as just another low > spot, and another doctor you had to get past to find the one who WILL > take good care of you…there IS help. > To start out, there is emergency help as well as doctor referral info > on the site David Lambourne brought to us.. >              http://www.painfoundation.org/ > Please look around here, check the link for "PainAid" perhaps you’ll > find what you need. There are also experts there for you to ask all > sorts of questions. > Take good care please, >  codeee

 Codeee,    Thanks for replying. I still feel alone The other reason I think I stay away is because this place reminds me that I am in pain. It reminds me of all the issues connected to being in pain. I am defignitely trying to avoid the entire issue when I am medicated and able to live…    It’s times like this that it all comes back to me and I start to realize how hopeless everything really is. Tammy

Response:

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->     Tammy, if everyone stayed away for those reasons…there wouldn’t > BE a pain group!  :-) >     I understand what you’re going through Tammy..honestly I do. I’m > so sorry that this doctor turned out to be another of ‘them"  Please > don’t let those "bad apples" you’ve seen cause you to stop seeking > what you need. >   As you know, there are several sies which offer a referral. Please > don’t let THEM win!  If you need help finding the sites again, please > write me, and I’ll look for them and send them to you again. > You may be feeling horrible now, but look at it as just another low > spot, and another doctor you had to get past to find the one who WILL > take good care of you…there IS help. > To start out, there is emergency help as well as doctor referral info > on the site David Lambourne brought to us.. >              http://www.painfoundation.org/ > Please look around here, check the link for "PainAid" perhaps you’ll > find what you need. There are also experts there for you to ask all > sorts of questions. > Take good care please, >  codeee > Codeee, >   Thanks for replying. I still feel alone >The other reason I think I stay away is because this place reminds me that I >am in pain. It reminds me of all the issues connected to being in pain. I am >defignitely trying to avoid the entire issue when I am medicated and able to >live… >   It’s times like this that it all comes back to me and I start to realize >how hopeless everything really is. >Tammy

        I know it sounds bleak and hopeless now Tammy…many of us know how that feels.  The good side is that many have found a way out of it, and help.  Please keep fighting for "YOU"..you’re worth it, and it may take some time FOR yourself…but it can be done! codeee

Response:

Don’t give up Tammy.  Please.  Give the Pain Clinic a chance to get you on a proper pain regimen, and if they do not seek help elsewhere.  I went through tree years of hell until I found my pain managment doctor.  He literally saved my life.  I know you will be able to find help and relief if you just don’t give up.  Life will get better if you stick with it.  Good luck and may you be pain free soon. sz

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Hi.. me again >    Well, it happened. My primary care doctor decided that SINCE I went to > the pain clinic that he would only give me two weeks worth of medication. I > had hoped and prayed that the pain clinic would decide a treatment plan > before I ran out. I tried really hard to limit my usage but my life is just > too demanding physically. >    I’ve been suffering withdrawls since Friday. I finally got irritated > enough to call my primary care doctors office on Saturday. Of course, my > regular doctor was not on call. His associate was. Not only was the guy rude > but he totally refused to rx ANY narcotics period. I said, look, I > understand that and am NOT expecting you to rx any narcotics. I want you to > HELP me get THROUGH this withdrawl. Needless to say, he flat refused. I > tried to be persistent. I said what am I supposed to do? He had absolutely > no answers for me. >     Yesterday, I went into such a deep depression that I believe if I had a > gun I would have done it. The depression, I realise is part of withdrawl but > it was horrific. The utter despair that you feel. I feel even now that hope > is not in my future. >    Many of the older posters here have been with me since my first post. > Look at what I have gone through!! I just am not sure that I can continue to > handle it anymore. >    It’s like a wheel that my rats run on. I hurt, I get meds, the meds are > not strong enough to actually help the pain, so I still hurt. Then I don’t > have meds and withdrawl. Then I get meds and start the cycle all over again. > I just cannot take it. On or off medication my life seems pretty bleak right > now. >    Sure, Sure not feeling human is part of withdrawl… but, I realised > something. I have not felt human for a very VERY long time. >    I stayed away from the group when not in pain because of the flames. I > tend to say really dumb things sometimes or I state something that someone > takes the wrong way and end up getting flamed. >    I don’t know what to do and I do not think I can handle this. > Tammy

Response:

Tammy I hope by the time you read this you have really considered Richards advice. Ronnie

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Hi.. me again >    Well, it happened. My primary care doctor decided that SINCE I went to > the pain clinic that he would only give me two weeks worth of medication. > I > had hoped and prayed that the pain clinic would decide a treatment plan > before I ran out. I tried really hard to limit my usage but my life is > just > too demanding physically. >    I’ve been suffering withdrawls since Friday. I finally got irritated > enough to call my primary care doctors office on Saturday. Of course, my > regular doctor was not on call. His associate was. Not only was the guy > rude > but he totally refused to rx ANY narcotics period. I said, look, I > understand that and am NOT expecting you to rx any narcotics. I want you > to > HELP me get THROUGH this withdrawl. Needless to say, he flat refused. I > tried to be persistent. I said what am I supposed to do? He had absolutely > no answers for me. >     Yesterday, I went into such a deep depression that I believe if I had > a > gun I would have done it. The depression, I realise is part of withdrawl > but > it was horrific. The utter despair that you feel. I feel even now that > hope > is not in my future. >    Many of the older posters here have been with me since my first post. > Look at what I have gone through!! I just am not sure that I can continue > to > handle it anymore. >    It’s like a wheel that my rats run on. I hurt, I get meds, the meds are > not strong enough to actually help the pain, so I still hurt. Then I don’t > have meds and withdrawl. Then I get meds and start the cycle all over > again. > I just cannot take it. On or off medication my life seems pretty bleak > right > now. >    Sure, Sure not feeling human is part of withdrawl… but, I realised > something. I have not felt human for a very VERY long time. >    I stayed away from the group when not in pain because of the flames. I > tend to say really dumb things sometimes or I state something that someone > takes the wrong way and end up getting flamed. >    I don’t know what to do and I do not think I can handle this. > Tammy > Tammy , >    Saying dumb things and getting flamed is irrelevant > compared to not wanting to go on anymore . There > have been so many times I have just wanted to give > up , but I always talk myself into holding on a little > longer . I have driven myself to the E.R. and told > the triage nurse that I want to die . I went there > because I was serious and didn’t know if I could make > it through the day . I was surprised at the high level > of treatment I received for feeling suicidal . >    Tammy , if withdrawal has you suicidal , go to the > E.R. Just do it . There are meds that can ease your > withdrawals and meds that can lift your spirits . > You have a right to adequate and proper care , > especially in an emergency . Please consider it . > Peace , > Richard

Response:

>Hey Me again… >   I woke up this morning actually feeling okay. Is that the difference between addicts and dependancy? I hurt badly. However, most of the horrid withdrawl is gone. I have read all over the web that this will take months to recover from (withdrawl). It apparently is mostly over for me? How come? I am real confused now. >    I am not depressed as much anymore. I am frustrated that I cannot help our financial situation by working. I am tired of being in pain. That never seems to change. I am just confused as to why I do not have withdrawl symptoms still? >Tammy

The first part is wonderul news!   Don’t question, be happy they’re mostly over Tammy! It does sound as though your physical dependancy on them is over, and if you were "addicted" to them, the cravings..(not WD symptoms), but cravings  would be overshelming. The fact that you were able to do this, without falling apart should count for something in the eys  of a new doctor!  That’s one less thing to deal with as you put "Operation Tammy’s Doctor" into effect.   This is teh perfect time to focus your energy upon finding yourself  a good one who won’t play games, and will provide you the means to get what you need to lessen the pain.  Please don’t leave ay rock unturned….this dark period in your life, may well lead o the major breakthrough”that you need.. codeee

Response:

Tammy, It has been a long time since I posted here because of the flame wars, this is not the place to get that when you are here for support. I understand your staying away 100%. I also am responding because like you, I was thrown into heavy withdrawals. To begin with I was on heavy diluadid for 5 years and cut off with only a small taper down period. This gave me very bad shakes which led to high blood pressure, with almost a stroke in the meantime. It has been 4 months and I am still withdrawing, I have a new doctor who still has just got around to getting my medicine back in line. What I would like for you to do is go to the hospital this quack of yours is tied to. Find the founders names of the system and write them a lot letters, emails, phone calls even meet them in the parking lot. The more top guys the better. Tell them everything about what is going on. If you get your complaining done right, I promise you something will be done. They will investigate these quacks, even go into their office and start going through their records. The more noise you make the more will be done. You can possibly shut down some quacks and run them out of business. I got this smartass x pain doctor who wishes I was dead because I brought the wrath of the medical community down on his ass and he is on the verge of losing his practice. He nearly cost me my life with the withdrawal damage. If not for some quick thinking of changing doctors and a lot of begging to investigate my withdrawals, I would not have made it this far. Death was so close just from the pain of not having my medicine. I have developed tremors directly from having my medicine taken from me. Now is not the time to cave in until you get the message out to anyone who can destroy the guy who is trying to destroy you. You got nothing to lose sister. Take these bastards out before they do you. You can become his worse nightmare this way. Quacks hate it when go over their heads. Please do not take this from a quack. It is illegal for them to do this to you. I got thoughts and prayers for you, Withdrawal is worse than a head on wreck, Thanks for listening…… 1956

Hi.. me again    Well, it happened. My primary care doctor decided that SINCE I went to the pain clinic that he would only give me two weeks worth of medication. I had hoped and prayed that the pain clinic would decide a treatment plan before I ran out. I tried really hard to limit my usage but my life is just too demanding physically.    I’ve been suffering withdrawls since Friday. I finally got irritated enough to call my primary care doctors office on Saturday. Of course, my regular doctor was not on call. His associate was. Not only was the guy rude but he totally refused to rx ANY narcotics period. I said, look, I understand that and am NOT expecting you to rx any narcotics. I want you to HELP me get THROUGH this withdrawl. Needless to say, he flat refused. I tried to be persistent. I said what am I supposed to do? He had absolutely no answers for me.     Yesterday, I went into such a deep depression that I believe if I had a gun I would have done it. The depression, I realise is part of withdrawl but it was horrific. The utter despair that you feel. I feel even now that hope is not in my future.    Many of the older posters here have been with me since my first post. Look at what I have gone through!! I just am not sure that I can continue to handle it anymore.    It’s like a wheel that my rats run on. I hurt, I get meds, the meds are not strong enough to actually help the pain, so I still hurt. Then I don’t have meds and withdrawl. Then I get meds and start the cycle all over again. I just cannot take it. On or off medication my life seems pretty bleak right now.    Sure, Sure not feeling human is part of withdrawl… but, I realised something. I have not felt human for a very VERY long time.    I stayed away from the group when not in pain because of the flames. I tend to say really dumb things sometimes or I state something that someone takes the wrong way and end up getting flamed.    I don’t know what to do and I do not think I can handle this. Tammy

Response: